Grin and bear it
by El loopy
Summary: Set after 'Popular'. Overwhelmed by everything Elphaba escapes from her room and into the gardens. Fiyero x Elphaba. Oneshot.


Grin and bear it

Elphaba took a deep breath of the cleansing night air, letting the coolness seep into her skin and taking away the flushed sensation she knew would never show. She had fled her shared room and newly acquired friend's good intentions for this place.

The gardens at Shiz were not the most beautiful in all of Oz by society standards, but Elphaba didn't really care a whit what society thought. To her the gardens were a place of solace and refreshment. Her place of escape. The fact that they were rejected for their lacking in the normal standards of beauty endeared them to her further. Her feet carried her down the gravelled paths, between rows of trees, the leaves occasionally brushing her face. The shadows around her danced as the breeze stirred the branches; the only light coming from the windows of nearby university buildings as academics burned the midnight oil. It was so still. So calm. The trees did not care about her skin colour. They did not care about her popularity. Elphaba felt her insides twist. Popular. There was a longing in the word. A poisoned sweetness. Acceptance would require a sacrifice. The two desires warred within her, so she shut her eyes and breathed deep again, letting the air silence the snapping wolves. She needed the quietness now. The giggling of lovers off the shadowed path steered her steps away, first down one avenue and then another until she reached the edge of the pond. Well, the girl's in Galinda's group called it a pond. It was more resembling of a water feature; small and smoothly sculptured, water sitting in a bowl of marble. Small lamps spotted the paths casting a warming glow of light and shadow off the water. There must have been a spell on it to keep the ducks off as she had never seen any there. It was clean and glass-like as Elphaba crouched at the edge to examine her reflection. She ran her eyes over it critically, looking for whatever Galinda had seen. Beautiful, she'd called her. She had never been called beautiful. A few whispered words made the makeup vanish, so it was just her plain, emerald skin reflecting back. If she wanted it on tomorrow she could just spell it back. It was unlikely Galinda would be out of bed before class in order to show her what to do. Her fingers brushed the still present flower and she made a move to take it out but hesitated. She tilted her head a little, so her hair whispered across her shoulder. She liked how it looked. _Huh_.

The sound of movement behind her made her start to her feet, swinging around so quickly she felt herself slip a little at the edge of the pond.

"Who's there?" It rang out like a challenge, shattering the stillness. A shadow pushed forward from the edge of the bushes and stepped out onto the path. She frowned, bewildered.

"Fiyero?" Her confusion turned to sharp annoyance. "What are you doing creeping around like that?"

He was missing his smart jacket from earlier in the evening, it was flung over a shoulder, the top button of his shirt was undone, and hair mussed like he'd run a hand through it. He tried on his devilish grin, but it didn't quite fit with his crumpled image.

"Secret tryst," he replied smoothly but there was a rehearsed edge to the words and she folded her arms.

"Oh, really? With who? Galinda's asleep upstairs."

It was a stretch on the truth, but she saw the quick snap of emotions on his face. Easy-going to…something else. She recognised the look from earlier, at the Oz-Dust, after Galinda had introduced them.

" _And this is my boyfriend, Fiyero," the blonde had presented him with a flourish, almost as though she expected applause. Elphaba wondered if she'd imagined the sudden startled look on the Prince's face at being described as 'boyfriend.'_

" _Yes," she had replied wryly. "We've met." Like she had met everyone else Galinda had introduced her to that evening. The blonde was clearly over compensating. Elphaba's attention snapped back to the Prince as he spoke._

" _Have we?" There was a puzzled frown on his face and she had to stop her voice from shrieking, instead pitching it low and frosty, as she replied._

" _Yes, you almost ran me over this morning."_

 _He blinked._

" _Did I? Sorry. I have a terrible memory for faces." She had frozen then, and looked at him, really looked at him. There was a small smile at his lips and his eyes were kind, smiling too. Was he…the word was unfamiliar to Elphaba…teasing her? Trying to laugh with her? At himself?_

 _Galinda shattered the scrutiny by nudging her beloved and declaring._

" _Just how hungover were you, dearest? Elphaba is_ green. _She's difficult to miss." She turned back to Elphaba to add, "Not there's anything_ wrong _with being green…"_

 _Galinda wasn't looking at Fiyero but Elphaba was. She saw the mask on his face crumble just a little, the look he gave his unofficial girlfriend one of bewilderment and disappointment. She saw the moment he remembered he was being watched, his eyes snapping back to hers. It was the same look._

"Caught out," Elphaba announced.

"Sorry?" Fiyero blinked.

"The look on your face," she clarified. "Its of being caught out."

Fiyero shook his head. "I don't know what you…"

She cut him off. "Yes you do."

They stared each other down for a moment, silence stretching in a thread of tension between them, until Fiyero smiled in his carefree manner and folded his arms.

"All right, what have you caught me doing?"

Elphaba didn't smile back.

"Going for a walk."

He tilted his head and gave a small chuckle.

"Right. Why is that a problem?"

Elphaba didn't blink.

"Because you're not here to have a secret tryst, or find trouble, or even have a good time, you're not even going somewhere for those things." The smile had faded off his face completely. "It may not fit your image, Playboy Prince, but you're here to escape all that." She let the darkness be its silent blanket, her comforter, hiding the true colour of her skin, making her bolder. "You're here because its suffocating you."

He said nothing for a minute and then shrugged, giving her a smile.

"I needed a break. So what?" but the smile was brittle, his carefree tone strained and they both knew she wasn't fooled. "Why are _you_ out here?" he snapped like a petulant child and she rolled her eyes.

"I've got things to think about. I needed somewhere less…pink."

It wasn't the full truth and she knew that he knew that too. This Prince was not as oblivious as he pretended.

"I come out here when I need the silence," he admitted suddenly, his voice quiet. "Where there are no voices wanting attention."

"No one to judge you," she added equally softly.

He blinked and looked at her again, but as though he was _really_ looking at her. She felt her skin prickle in awareness, her heart speed up a fraction. She knew her dress was a rumpled state and had to still her hand from checking the flower in her hair.

"Is that why _you_ come here?" he asked softly, eyes still searing into her own. He took a step towards her, his long stride bringing him close, too close. The movement made her jump, tremble, panic, and she took a step back and away. She'd forgotten where she stood. Her foot slipped and gave way at the edge of the pond. She gave a short, surprised yelp and tumbled back, straight into the water.

It took her a few minutes to get over her shock and find she'd splashed herself into a sitting position, the water up to her waist, drenched through. There was laughter and she glared at the perpetrator.

Fiyero smothered it a moment, long enough to ask, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she snapped in fury. "Its not like I melt."

He grinned again. A real one though, this time. "I'd offer you a hand up but you might pull me in."

"Won't know unless you try," she responded dangerously.

"No thanks, the water would really mess up my suit."

The dangerous atmosphere was gone at least. She wasn't entirely convinced it was worth it though as her wet hair sent a trickle of water down her face. Never would have happened if she'd kept the braid. She probably looked a mess, fortunately she was partially hidden by shadows. Her thoughts froze. When had she started caring about her appearance in front of Galinda's boyfriend? The Prince was looking down at her from the edge of the pond, still smiling.

"You planning to get out of there?"

"Why? Is there some law that says I have to?" she replied sarcastically, whilst her mind worked furiously as how she could avoid him looking at her.

 _Oh, for Oz's sake!_ She snapped at herself in frustration. _'He doesn't care. You don't care,'_ and with that she got to her feet and began to slosh out of the water.

"There. You happy now?" she growled as she stepped onto dry land, wincing as her shoes squelched and feeling her sodden undergarments uncomfortably. She glared at her shoes, watching patterns emerging on the gravel from the droplets, before gathering her hair over one shoulder to wring it out.

When he didn't answer she looked up to see that Fiyero wasn't actually looking at her. He'd turned his face away and there was a flushed hue to his neck.

"What?" she grumbled. The flush deepened.

"The lights," his voice came out low and dry. He swallowed and waved a hand in her direction. "The lights with the water and that dress…"

Elphaba glanced down, and although she couldn't see what he could she felt her own blush start.

"Right."

"Here," he offered out his jacket without looking and she took it, even as she started muttering a drying spell. She'd used it on wet class notes and it left a similar rumpled effect on the rest of her, but at least she was dry when she slipped the jacket on.

"Thanks," she said begrudgingly. She was feeling annoyed. Annoyed at her clumsiness and awkwardness. Annoyed that she felt embarrassed and that she was uncomfortable in the stiff, fast-dried clothes. Annoyed that she hadn't been able to use her bedraggled state to entice…she wasn't even sure how that sentence ended. The thought passed through her mind that this sort of thing never happened to Galinda. Galinda never felt embarrassed or uncomfortable or clumsy. Elphaba glared at the ground and scowled. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just do as Galinda said. Be popular. Be liked. Her hand briefly reached up and touched the flower. It was still there. Still beautiful. The only part of her outfit that had survived.

"Hey?"

She blinked up at Fiyero who was looking at her again. She'd missed what he'd said. She clutched his jacket closed tighter.

"You all right?"

"Yeah," she managed before adding, "I need to go." Short. To the point. She meant escape.

"It is pretty late," Fiyero said with a smile. "We have History tomorrow. I'll see you then." He paused. "Pity you didn't get much of that thinking done."

' _On the contrary,'_ Elphaba thought to herself later, back in her room, where she lay Fiyero's jacket at the end of her sleeping roommate's bed and hoped the blonde had been too tipsy the night before to remember she hadn't been given it. _'I think I've made my decision.'_ If it meant she never had to feel like that again, embarrassed and awkward she'd grin and bear if. She'd give Galinda what she wanted. She'd be popular.


End file.
